I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
