i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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