Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Everything about him screamed your future.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
