Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize