I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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