Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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