Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize