Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
