I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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