if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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