He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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