You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
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As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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