Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
