Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
