i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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