just tell him i said nine months
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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