so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
