This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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