you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
