im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
