At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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