i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
