there's paper in my vomit.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
