when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
