Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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