if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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