Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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