i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
