im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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