4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
