well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
