i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My hand turned me down
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
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I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize