nut hugger
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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