If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
