but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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