he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
