Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
