I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
