So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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