Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
