Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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