Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
