come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
