He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
tell me about the eggs
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
