guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
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I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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