I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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