Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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