I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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