p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Bang-toberfest begins!!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
