Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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