Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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