2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
