Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
