The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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